To My Kinder Darlings

Dear Kinder Darlings,

Eight days. That's all that is left of our time together. How will eight days ever be enough to hug you and laugh with you and assure you that you are the best and the smartest in the world? Don't get me wrong, I am counting down the days until sleeping in, cartoons with my kids at home, and ice cream and swimming with just as much anticipation and jubilation as you. Except, there is also this lump in my throat. There is a little twinge of pain in my full, full heart. You see, this year, you were mine. I loved you and cared for you and laughed with you and sometimes wanted to pull my hair out. Just like my own children. And now, it is almost over. Now you belong to your parents and next year., another teacher. The next thing you know, you will be graduating from high school and I will be but a distant memory. But, YOU, dear students, you will always have a home in my heart.

This time of year is bittersweet. I can almost taste the freedom and adventures of summer. I am also filled with pride because you have come so far. You have learned to tie your shoes, to say "excuse me" instead of pushing, to read CVC words, and to start sentences with an uppercase letter. You mastered your rainbow words! You counted to 100! You learned to work independently and be a good friend and resolve conflict. Yet, I am scared to let you go. Did I do enough? Did I work enough with you on adding detail to your writing? Did I make you feel important and smart every day? Did you really understand how to solve those math story problems? Do you know how much I love you? Eight days is not enough to be sure.

At the same time, eight days will feel like an eternity. Because you, for some mysterious reason, have suddenly forgotten that hallways are meant to be quiet and that it not okay to scream your head off indoors. For the love of all that is good and holy, WHY must I repeat myself a thousand times a day about little tiny things we have been doing for 158 days of school? I feel like I have used the words "stop" and "don't" more in the past month than I did all school year. "Stop spinning in line. Please sit on your bottom. Are we being good listeners? Is this how Kindergarteners act in the library? Don't glue your crayons together. Stop poking your neighbor. Scissors are only for cutting paper!" But I think I know the reason for all of this.

You see, I think that God knows that goodbye for the summer has the potential to rip my heart out. I think maybe He causes you to act like wild animals so that it distracts me from the fact that you aren't going to be mine anymore. Kindergarten is over. Next year you will see me in the hall and you will wave and smile, and maybe, if I'm lucky, give me a hug. You will have a new teacher to love, and I will have a whole new set of Kinder babies. Next year at this time, I will be writing their letter and crying tears over their departure. Right now, though, my tears are for you. I want you to know that you are kind and you are brave. That you are outstanding readers and mathematicians and scientists, and beings.  I want you to know that you will always always be my Kinder darlings, forever five and six in my heart. Now, go on. Grow up. Be great.

Love, 

Mrs. Stahlman

Talluluh is Grateful

With Veterans Day left behind in our rear view mirror, we've all gone about our lives as usual. I woke up this morning cursing the alarm clock. I kissed my husband goodbye as he left for work. I drove my children to daycare and school. But when I say "we've all" returned to our normal routine, that's really not the case. Somewhere a child cries himself to sleep because he misses his daddy, who has been deployed for months. Somewhere, a wife loses sleep because she worries that the next day might greet her with the news that her husband is injured in the line of duty...or worse. Somewhere a soldier loses sleep because they are in the threshold of war, or because of the nightmares that accompany PTSD.

I do not doubt that we are all grateful for our Armed Forces and their families. And on Veterans Day and Memorial Day, we proudly wear red, white, and blue. We stand a little straighter for the flag salute. We may even get teary as we listen to patriotic songs performed by the youth of our nation. We tell the service men and women we know, "Thank you," and we mean it.

But then, we go on about our lives. Lives that are sometimes easy, sometimes not so easy, but we go on. There are so many who struggle to go on. Whether it is because they are scared, sad, wounded, disabled, haunted, or something more, they cannot go back to a "normal" routine. The lives of those affected by military service may never resemble "normal" again.

I am not a military wife, daughter, or sister. I am a teacher. And there has been more than one occasion where I have found myself caring for and loving the child of a soldier day in and day out. I know the troubles of a life of service through the eyes of a child. I have held them while they cry. I have listened to their fears. I have collected items for care packages, I have admired their mothers. 

This does not make me more grateful than you. It does, however, make me feel compelled to do more. So each year, not necessarily on Veterans Day, I try to make a small donation to the Wounded Warrior Project or the USO. I hope that you will consider doing the same. If donating isn't your thing, just do something nice for a veteran that you know.  A card, baked goods, or another small act of kindness. Because we should all give a little to help those who gave, or continue to give, so much. God Bless America, and THANK YOU, Veterans! 

Talluluh's Clean Waffles with Blueberry Sauce

Alright people, I know that anytime a recipe has "clean" in the title, we immediately assume that it is flavorless and bland.  But I promise that if you give these waffles a chance, you will LOVE them!  As many of us are this time of year, I am climbing back on the healthy eating wagon.  I don't know about you, but I think the driver of that thing needs his license revoked.  I.can.not.stay.on.  These waffles are one of my favorite breakfasts!  I hope you love them as much as I do. This makes one serving, so I usually triple it and leave the rest in the fridge, or make it all up and freeze.

Vanilla Flaxseed Waffles

1/3 cup old fashioned oats

1/3 cup plain, nonfat greek yogurt

1/2 cup or 3 egg whites

1 Tbsp ground flax seed

1 tsp vanilla

1 scoop vanilla protein powder (I like Perfect Fit organic rice protein)

Add oats to blender and grind to a flour consistency.  Add other ingredients and blend well.  Pour onto hot waffle iron.  (Makes 2 waffles/one serving)

Blueberry Sauce:

1/2 cup blueberries (I use frozen)

1/4 cup water

1 T pure maple syrup

Bring ingredients to a boil and simmer 3-5 min.

Talluluh Turns TEAL

I am coming out of blog retirement to talk to you about something near and dear to my heart:  food allergies.  Am I a mother of a child with food allergies?  No.  Am I the aunt of a child with food allergies?  No.  Does my best friend have a child with food allergies?  No.  Why, then, you ask, would I care so much about this topic?  Well, unless you are a new reader, you know that I am a teacher.  And in the past three years, I have had at least five students in my classroom with severe allergies.  The most common allergy I see at school is a peanut/tree nut allergy.  This year I have really had my eyes opened to the challenges faced by parents of children with food allergies, because I have a student with a dairy/egg/nut allergy.  Which excludes the precious darling from eating LOTS of things.

I came across the Teal Pumpkin Project when it was shared by a whole foods page I follow on Facebook. I immediately fell in love with the idea.  In a nutshell, you paint a pumpkin teal and put it on your porch.  The pumpkin acts as a signal to children and parents of children with allergies that you will have allergy friendly treats on Halloween.  If you choose to do this project, make sure you choose treats that are not only peanut allergy friendly, but cover wheat, dairy, egg, and tree nut allergies as well.  To be extra safe, non-food treats (think crayons, stickers, tattoos, etc.) would be best.

Today, the kiddos and I went to the grocery store and purchased the supplies we would need to paint our pumpkins.  I let the kids pick out their own pumpkin, and I also bought teal acrylic paint, sponge brushes, teal glitter, and some jewels.  It would have been much easier to buy a fake pumpkin and spray paint it so it could be used again each year, or even to buy one that was already teal (I hear Hobby Lobby has some), but I wanted my daughter to be a part of the process so that she could understand WHY we were putting teal pumpkins on our porch.  When we sat down to paint, she asked why we couldn't paint our pumpkin purple (her favorite color).  I explained that Halloween is a holiday that is meant to be fun, and that some kids can't have candy, like chocolate, and that makes it not as fun for those kids.  We talked about how we could give them a non-candy treat instead.  But how would they know our house was allergy "safe?"  The pumpkins would act as a clue!  Then they would know how to find us.  She was delighted, and we had so much fun decorating our pumpkins together.  My son joined in when he finished his nap, and although he is too young to understand our purpose, it made for some good family fun.

When I was reading about the Teal Pumpkin Project, I noticed that there were negative comments from people, criticizing the project for catering to children with allergies because "life isn't fair," etc., etc.   This was really upsetting to me.  Because I see the disappointment in a child's eyes when they don't get to have the same snack as everyone else (which I try to avoid as often as possible, but it can't always be done), I know what it would mean to these kids to see that people have done something special just for them.  To make sure that they are safe.  And safety, my friends, is what is most important.  Because I have never had to stab my child in the leg with an Epi-Pen, or rush them to the emergency room because of a reaction.  I cannot imagine how frightening that must be for the parent, and especially for the innocent child.  I know that parents can sort through candy and take out any of the items including ingredients that would trigger a reaction, but I also know that some allergies are so severe, that if a allergy-friendly food came into contact with a food with peanuts or milk in it, it could still cause a reaction.

So please, consider being part of the Teal Pumpkin Project this Halloween.  Yes, it takes a little more effort, but a tiny effort goes a long way in the eyes of a child.  Make a child with allergies smile!  Warm a mother's heart.  Acts of kindness, acts of love, isn't that what we all try to do every day? If you have kids, do it together.  Show them the importance of caring for others.  Be the good, my friends.  Be the good.

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Talluluh Writes an Open Letter to our Congressmen on Education

Below you will find a letter I recently typed that will be making its way to my district's members of Congress.  I am sharing this letter in the hopes that I will inspire others to take action.  It's a serious topic, and I feel so passionately about it. 

Dear Congressman,

I am a teacher.  While I feel that sometimes the general public views teachers as a “whiney” bunch, I can tell you that my whining has little to do with how difficult my job is.  It has everything to do with the fact that the government is setting unrealistic and inappropriate expectations for my students.  It is saying that all students, regardless of outside factors, should master the same rigorous standards set forth by our state. 

 I have been teaching for six years.  When I began my career, full of hope and inspiration, I taught second grade.  While I loved my students, I did not have a passion for the content I was teaching.  I had always dreamed of being a Kindergarten teacher, and when a position opened in my district, I made the change.  This is my fourth year of Kindergarten.  When I look at the Oklahoma Academic Standards, I see objectives that I formerly was teaching second graders.  Six years is not a long time.  Why has this push been so sudden, and so harsh?  I know that many of the children in my room can master many of these standards. But does that mean we should expect all others to do the same?  My fear is that we are creating a generation of students who will function like robots.  They may be “career and college ready” by the standards’ definition, but what about the social definition?  What about peer interaction?  What about inspired learning?  In early childhood, this comes in the form of play-based learning.  This is a truly research-based theory that has been eliminated in our classrooms and replaced by drill and test methods.  I fear for my students as they grow.  Now they are innocent.  They are not fazed, because I do my best to make sure they receive a balance of play and academics.  But I fear for what happens in three years.  I do not like the direction we are headed.  I foresee an even greater increase in children with anxiety and depression issues.  I foresee an increase in teenagers who dread coming to school, an increase in dropouts.  In a society that tells children and teenagers alike that they are not good enough, shouldn’t education be doing the opposite?

Our State Superintendent had the audacity to say this about teachers who gave her a failing grade, according to NewsOK.com:

 “It's just a union tactic. These are individuals that are opposed to accountability. These are individuals that are focused on maintaining their power base in the state of Oklahoma,” Barresi said. “They are not focused on students; they are focused on adults. I am about improving education for the children of Oklahoma. We have lost too many kids.”

Not focused on students? I have loved and cherished every child that has entered my classroom.  I have held students as they sob.  I have coached them through failures.  I have celebrated their successes.  I have paid lunch money for students who’ve had none.  Washed clothes that came to school dirty. Bought extra snacks for those who come to school hungry.  I have dedicated as much time to the children in my classroom as I have to my own children.  I have given my students confidence and a feeling of self-worth.  I have taught them to value their effort, and to strive for more.

 The only portion of my whining that pertains to me, is the fact that the government does not trust me to do my job.  Sometimes, I feel that even my own administrators lack trust in me.  Teachers are not opposed to accountability.  We hold ourselves accountable, and we want others to hold us accountable as well.  Come in.  Visit our world.  See what we do, day in and day out.  Then tell us whether or not we are putting enough effort into what we do.  Whether or not we are teaching the content.  Teaching is not a quantitative skill.  It is not something you can measure by a number on a page.  I have a college degree that I am still paying for.  And yet, somehow, I am not qualified.  Legislators know better.  Parents know better.  John Doe, off of the street, knows better.  There is no other profession that is attacked, belittled, and questioned as much as the profession of an educator.  In my district, I am no longer allowed to enter my students’ test scores into our online system.  The administrators have repeatedly told me that this has nothing to do with trust.  It does.  This trust issue starts at a federal level and has trickled all the way down. 

My plea to you today is that you listen to teachers.  The deletion of Developmentally Appropriate Practice from our elementary schools and our curriculum will have dire effects on our future society.   Common Core and the Oklahoma Academic Standards are a smoke and mirrors tactic that will not solve our country’s educational issues, especially not for Early Childhood Education.  Each and every day, I am a warrior for my students.  I go in to my classroom, into my principal’s office, into meetings with our administration, and I FIGHT for those young children.  I have not been quiet about the fact that what is happening in Early Childhood Education in our state, and our nation, is an absolute travesty. Teachers across the state are giving up the fight.  They are retiring, finding other jobs to do.  GREAT teachers are leaving our profession left and right.  These teachers are tired of fighting a losing battle.  I am not that easy to get rid of.  I will continue to be a warrior.   I am asking you to do the same.  Be a warrior for the teachers, but more importantly, be a warrior for our children.  Fight for us in Oklahoma.  Fight for us in Washington.  FIGHT.

                                                                                Sincerely,

                                                                                Lauren Stahlman

                                                                                Kindergarten Teacher

                                                                                Woodward Public Schools

Why Talluluh Teaches Kindergarten

Most of the time when people ask me what my profession is, they respond to my "Kindergarten Teacher" answer the same way:  "God bless you!" "How do you do it?"  And I can't blame them, because I respond the same way when others tell me they teach Middle School.  Teachers are a special breed, and we are definitely called to our area of expertise by a higher power.

I love my job.  LOVE my job.  There are days when I come home frustrated and angry and threaten to find something else to do.  But that feeling is gone in about an hour.  And my frustrations are NEVER because of a student.  Every part of my being feels an enormous sense of responsibility, pride in, and love for every one of my students.  I'm also very seldom angry at a parent.  Most of my qualms, most of what makes me feel disheartened, is what education is becoming.  How educators are neither trusted nor valued by our government.  But in spite of all that, I come back every day with a smile on my face.  I will continue to come back because I was born to spend the day saying "sit on your bottom" a hundred thousand times.  I was called to sing silly songs and play with my students.  I have learned that you can be firm in your discipline and still pour your heart into those precious beings.  

I teach K because I may be the only person who hugs a particular child that day.  I teach K because it's pretty awesome having a throng of little people tell you that you are beautiful and nice and the best teacher they've ever had and you color so pretty (all in one breath).  I teach K because I care about the foundation of education.  I care about social skills and manners and cutting and gluing and coloring and skipping.  I teach K because I want to foster independence in those kids whose parents do everything for them and for those whose parents have told them "you can't."  THEY CAN!  I teach K because there is nothing more fulfilling than hearing a child say "I love school!" or "I did it!!!" I teach K because I believe in our future and I believe that our students CAN have a quality education, in spite of what legislators are doing to ensure otherwise. 

My students know that it's okay to be angry, but it's not okay to hit.  They know that it's okay to be frustrated, but it's not okay to quit.  They know that they are safe when I am near.  They know that they are in charge of their own bodies, lives, and choices.  They know that there is more to life than a number on a page or a statistic in a study.  They know what good readers do, what good writers do, what good mathematicians do.  They know that play is important.  They know that school is fun.  

I'm not perfect, and neither are they.  We laugh together, we talk together, we grow together.  We make mistakes and we learn how to correct them.  And every year, when May rolls around, it is so bittersweet.  I love seeing how much they have grown, how far they have come.  I love that I will get a month or two to relax a little and spend time with my kids. But I'm always sad, too.  I'm sad that they won't be in my care everyday.  I'm sad that they will love another teacher, maybe even more than me.  Because my students are my children for a year. It's so hard to let go.  At the same time, I know they will go on to greater things than simplistic Kindergarten.  And many years from now they may not even remember my name.  But they will all have a very special place in my heart. 

That, my friends, is why I teach.