Talluluh Writes an Open Letter to our Congressmen on Education

Below you will find a letter I recently typed that will be making its way to my district's members of Congress.  I am sharing this letter in the hopes that I will inspire others to take action.  It's a serious topic, and I feel so passionately about it. 

Dear Congressman,

I am a teacher.  While I feel that sometimes the general public views teachers as a “whiney” bunch, I can tell you that my whining has little to do with how difficult my job is.  It has everything to do with the fact that the government is setting unrealistic and inappropriate expectations for my students.  It is saying that all students, regardless of outside factors, should master the same rigorous standards set forth by our state. 

 I have been teaching for six years.  When I began my career, full of hope and inspiration, I taught second grade.  While I loved my students, I did not have a passion for the content I was teaching.  I had always dreamed of being a Kindergarten teacher, and when a position opened in my district, I made the change.  This is my fourth year of Kindergarten.  When I look at the Oklahoma Academic Standards, I see objectives that I formerly was teaching second graders.  Six years is not a long time.  Why has this push been so sudden, and so harsh?  I know that many of the children in my room can master many of these standards. But does that mean we should expect all others to do the same?  My fear is that we are creating a generation of students who will function like robots.  They may be “career and college ready” by the standards’ definition, but what about the social definition?  What about peer interaction?  What about inspired learning?  In early childhood, this comes in the form of play-based learning.  This is a truly research-based theory that has been eliminated in our classrooms and replaced by drill and test methods.  I fear for my students as they grow.  Now they are innocent.  They are not fazed, because I do my best to make sure they receive a balance of play and academics.  But I fear for what happens in three years.  I do not like the direction we are headed.  I foresee an even greater increase in children with anxiety and depression issues.  I foresee an increase in teenagers who dread coming to school, an increase in dropouts.  In a society that tells children and teenagers alike that they are not good enough, shouldn’t education be doing the opposite?

Our State Superintendent had the audacity to say this about teachers who gave her a failing grade, according to NewsOK.com:

 “It's just a union tactic. These are individuals that are opposed to accountability. These are individuals that are focused on maintaining their power base in the state of Oklahoma,” Barresi said. “They are not focused on students; they are focused on adults. I am about improving education for the children of Oklahoma. We have lost too many kids.”

Not focused on students? I have loved and cherished every child that has entered my classroom.  I have held students as they sob.  I have coached them through failures.  I have celebrated their successes.  I have paid lunch money for students who’ve had none.  Washed clothes that came to school dirty. Bought extra snacks for those who come to school hungry.  I have dedicated as much time to the children in my classroom as I have to my own children.  I have given my students confidence and a feeling of self-worth.  I have taught them to value their effort, and to strive for more.

 The only portion of my whining that pertains to me, is the fact that the government does not trust me to do my job.  Sometimes, I feel that even my own administrators lack trust in me.  Teachers are not opposed to accountability.  We hold ourselves accountable, and we want others to hold us accountable as well.  Come in.  Visit our world.  See what we do, day in and day out.  Then tell us whether or not we are putting enough effort into what we do.  Whether or not we are teaching the content.  Teaching is not a quantitative skill.  It is not something you can measure by a number on a page.  I have a college degree that I am still paying for.  And yet, somehow, I am not qualified.  Legislators know better.  Parents know better.  John Doe, off of the street, knows better.  There is no other profession that is attacked, belittled, and questioned as much as the profession of an educator.  In my district, I am no longer allowed to enter my students’ test scores into our online system.  The administrators have repeatedly told me that this has nothing to do with trust.  It does.  This trust issue starts at a federal level and has trickled all the way down. 

My plea to you today is that you listen to teachers.  The deletion of Developmentally Appropriate Practice from our elementary schools and our curriculum will have dire effects on our future society.   Common Core and the Oklahoma Academic Standards are a smoke and mirrors tactic that will not solve our country’s educational issues, especially not for Early Childhood Education.  Each and every day, I am a warrior for my students.  I go in to my classroom, into my principal’s office, into meetings with our administration, and I FIGHT for those young children.  I have not been quiet about the fact that what is happening in Early Childhood Education in our state, and our nation, is an absolute travesty. Teachers across the state are giving up the fight.  They are retiring, finding other jobs to do.  GREAT teachers are leaving our profession left and right.  These teachers are tired of fighting a losing battle.  I am not that easy to get rid of.  I will continue to be a warrior.   I am asking you to do the same.  Be a warrior for the teachers, but more importantly, be a warrior for our children.  Fight for us in Oklahoma.  Fight for us in Washington.  FIGHT.

                                                                                Sincerely,

                                                                                Lauren Stahlman

                                                                                Kindergarten Teacher

                                                                                Woodward Public Schools

Why Talluluh Teaches Kindergarten

Most of the time when people ask me what my profession is, they respond to my "Kindergarten Teacher" answer the same way:  "God bless you!" "How do you do it?"  And I can't blame them, because I respond the same way when others tell me they teach Middle School.  Teachers are a special breed, and we are definitely called to our area of expertise by a higher power.

I love my job.  LOVE my job.  There are days when I come home frustrated and angry and threaten to find something else to do.  But that feeling is gone in about an hour.  And my frustrations are NEVER because of a student.  Every part of my being feels an enormous sense of responsibility, pride in, and love for every one of my students.  I'm also very seldom angry at a parent.  Most of my qualms, most of what makes me feel disheartened, is what education is becoming.  How educators are neither trusted nor valued by our government.  But in spite of all that, I come back every day with a smile on my face.  I will continue to come back because I was born to spend the day saying "sit on your bottom" a hundred thousand times.  I was called to sing silly songs and play with my students.  I have learned that you can be firm in your discipline and still pour your heart into those precious beings.  

I teach K because I may be the only person who hugs a particular child that day.  I teach K because it's pretty awesome having a throng of little people tell you that you are beautiful and nice and the best teacher they've ever had and you color so pretty (all in one breath).  I teach K because I care about the foundation of education.  I care about social skills and manners and cutting and gluing and coloring and skipping.  I teach K because I want to foster independence in those kids whose parents do everything for them and for those whose parents have told them "you can't."  THEY CAN!  I teach K because there is nothing more fulfilling than hearing a child say "I love school!" or "I did it!!!" I teach K because I believe in our future and I believe that our students CAN have a quality education, in spite of what legislators are doing to ensure otherwise. 

My students know that it's okay to be angry, but it's not okay to hit.  They know that it's okay to be frustrated, but it's not okay to quit.  They know that they are safe when I am near.  They know that they are in charge of their own bodies, lives, and choices.  They know that there is more to life than a number on a page or a statistic in a study.  They know what good readers do, what good writers do, what good mathematicians do.  They know that play is important.  They know that school is fun.  

I'm not perfect, and neither are they.  We laugh together, we talk together, we grow together.  We make mistakes and we learn how to correct them.  And every year, when May rolls around, it is so bittersweet.  I love seeing how much they have grown, how far they have come.  I love that I will get a month or two to relax a little and spend time with my kids. But I'm always sad, too.  I'm sad that they won't be in my care everyday.  I'm sad that they will love another teacher, maybe even more than me.  Because my students are my children for a year. It's so hard to let go.  At the same time, I know they will go on to greater things than simplistic Kindergarten.  And many years from now they may not even remember my name.  But they will all have a very special place in my heart. 

That, my friends, is why I teach. 

Talluluh Pitches a Tent - DIY Hallway Tent

I am typing this post from inside my daughter's new hallway tent.

She won't let me out, and that's a great thing! The idea for this tent came from Pinterest.  I found a link to a blog with vague instructions, and modified them to suit my needs.  There is no pattern here, nor on the blog on which I first found the hallway tent (see original idea here.).  However, I will show you what I did and maybe it will be helpful.  I am not a master seamstress, but I do have experience sewing.  I mostly quilt (rag quilts are my favorite!).  I would deem this intermediate difficulty, but if you are more of a beginner, you can do the basic sewing and embellish with a hot glue gun! It took me about 9 hours (with interruptions) to complete.  I also used all scrap fabric and leftovers from other projects. So this cost me nothing!

Here are my basic supplies:

A canvas drop cloth from a hardware store (mine was leftover from a tree skirt project I did around Christmas time, so I'm not sure of the original size).  You could also use a sheet! But the drop cloth is heavier and thus more sturdy.

2 Spring Tension rods (again, had these on hand, not sure of size, but you would need to measure the width of your hallway)

Various scrap fabrics and felt

Cutting mat, quilter's ruler, and rotary cutter

Sewing machine and thread

Scissors

Measuring tape


The first thing I did was measure how wide I wanted my tent to be by measuring the width of the hallway. Then I measured to see how tall I wanted it to be.  I ended up making mine 39 inches wide.  It is 9 feet total length.

Then I layed out my drop cloth and cut it to the appropriate size and hemmed the edges to keep it from fraying with a 1/4 in seam. On the bottom and top ends, I hemmed a 2 inch opening wide enough for tension rods to slide through.  I put a 2 inch strip of canvas at the 4 ft. mark and stitched it in to hold a third tension rod.  I ended up only using two tension rods and leaving the bottom moving freely.

The next part I stitched was the shingles.  There are five rows of 7.  I used a pattern piece I already had on hand (from making Marleigh's baby rag quilt.  You can find the pattern piece here.).  

I traced the pattern piece until I had the number I needed.  Then I cut them out with scissors.  I then stitched them together in rows of 7 with a 1/4 in. seam. After I stitched the row, I would press the seams and then stitch on the outer edge of the scallops before sewing the whole strip onto the tent at about the 4 foot mark.  I repeated this step for the rest of the rows, overlapping each row when I sewed it to the tent.  

Next, I cut the space for the door.  I just cut two slits 20 in long and 1 foot apart in the tent from the bottom.  I left it attached at the top so that I would have a flap.  Then I sewed a piece of scrap fabric that I had cut to be the same size as the flap onto it.  When that was complete, I finished the raw edges around the door with felt binding.  I cut strips of felt into 1 inch strips, sewed the strips together and then pinned and sewed them around the door and door frame.  Last, I cut a circle of felt and hot glued it to make the doorknob.

For the window, I measured and traced a rectangle on the canvas with a pencil.  I cut it out and then bound the raw edges around the window with 1 inch strips of scrap fabric.  I made the curtain by cutting a piece of fabric twice the size of the window, folding it and stitching it across the top, and pulling on the thread to gather it.  I then sewed it to the inside of the window.

The mailbox was the trickiest part.  I used a pattern piece like the one for the shingles, but a little bigger, and traced it onto the canvas.  I cut around the curve, but left the bottom attached so it would be a flap.  I then cut a piece of scrap fabric the same size, again using the pattern piece. I stitched the fabric to the flap and bound the edges with felt.  The binding wasn't as neat on this part, because I don't have much experience binding curved surfaces.  But it will do the trick in keeping the edges from fraying. I hot glued a piece of velcro to the mailbox and the opening so that it would close.

The flower pot below the window was the final touch.  I just cut a flower pot shape from felt and hot glued it to the tent. The flowers were from a shirt I bought at J. Crew that had holes in it, so I just ripped them off and glued them on! You could use silk flowers from a craft store, though and it would probably be even cuter!

The end result was a tent that can hang in the hallway and you can adjust its length, depending on how high you put the second tension bar.  It's super easy to hang up, and easy to store. The best part is, in our house the kids rooms are both at the end of the hallway, so inside the tent leads right into their bedrooms! Fun! They both love it!  

I know that these directions aren't super specific, but it really is a custom project that you have to "fit" to your needs.  You also need to know how to use a sewing machine. The binding is the hardest part, but you could probably glue on binding, or use Fray Check or some other type of fray deterrent and get a similar result. You can also search "how to sew binding" into a search engine and get some tips! Here's a YouTube video I found: How to Sew Binding.   If you have any questions, please feel free to comment! 

Talluluh Talks Parenthood - Toddler Version

When the time comes that you are blessed with a child, people will tell you LOTS of things.  Things like, "You will never sleep again!"  "You'll never have time for (insert anything here)." and "Say goodbye to your skinny jeans." They pretty much tell you that you will be miserable and they don't understand why on earth you didn't wait five more years, or have less children, or why you don't do such and such the way they did it.  They will give you tons of unsolicited advice and comment on how big your daughter's hairbow is or how your son's cough sounds really bad.  And I'm not just talking relatives.  I am talking complete strangers, too.

I don't consider myself an expert at parenting, because I am pretty new to the scene.  But I do know a few things. And all those people?  They are sort of right.  Your life will never be the same.  But they are wrong too.  Here's a list of what people don't tell you:

1.  The first time you hear your child cry, the first time you hold them.  You will never forget that moment and how emotionally charged it was.
2.  You will cheer and jump up and down like an idiot when your child uses the potty.
3.  Being a parent is probably the messiest, most disgusting job in the world.  But getting puked on and peed on is totally worth it.
4. There is no better therapy than rocking or cuddling a baby.
5.  You won't be able to read or watch the news without your heart breaking.  Everybody is somebody's baby.
6.  You will yearn for a weekend away, but when you get it, you will miss your babies and worry about your babies and yearn to return home.  Except when vacationing from potty training.
7.  You will learn to hear the distinct sound of that cough that precedes throw-up.
8.  You will love your significant other more than you ever knew possible when you watch him playing My Little Ponies or trains with your children.
9.  It is totally possible that you will walk into your child's room to wake them up from a nap and they will be covered in poop.
10. Your children will be the funniest, sweetest, most beautiful children in the whole universe.
11.  There is no such thing as a clean house.
12.  There is no such thing as clean laundry.
13.  Hearing a small person say, "I love you Mommy" will undoubtedly make you feel like a superhero.
14.  You will wipe boogers and snot on your shirttail.
15.  You will never be more proud of anything than you are of your children.  And that your heart will swell to a thousand times its size with pride at the completion of the most minute task (e.g. eating, walking, talking).
16.  You will have a constant internal struggle between "Let's have another one!" and "Whose idea was it to have children?"
16 and 1/2.  You will understand why your mother was crazy.  You will forgive her for everything you said you would never do when you had children (and then you will do them all).
17.  When you go to the restroom, your children will follow you and bang on the door.  They will stick their fingers under the door while yelling, "I want to watch you go potty!"
18.  The years between their day of birth and their third birthday will pass at warp speed.  Cherish every. single. moment.
19.  You will be able to distinguish between the types of crying you hear from the other room.  There is the frustrated cry, the hurt cry, the sad cry, and the fit-throwing cry.
20.  The opinion of everyone else will not matter.  All that will matter is that the little people in your life think you are the best cookie/bacon maker that ever existed and that they beg you to play dinosaurs and to read them a story.  You will wonder what you did before you had children.  You will wonder how your heart can feel so full of love when your child is happy and ache so much when they are sad.  You will understand your purpose in life.

Tallulluh's Southwest Salad

I posted this yummy lunch or dinner recipe earlier in the week, but I've made some major improvements and added photos!  Also, a new southwest ranch dressing recipe is included!

Talluluh's Southwest Salad

3 c. mixed greens

1 cooked chicken breast, sliced (I cook mine with 1 tsp. minced garlic, 1 T. olive oil, 1 T. El Pato tomato sauce Mexican hot style, and a dash of seasoned salt)

1/2 c. black bean salsa (see my recipe below)

Handful of fresh chopped cilantro

1 lime wedge
1-2 T. Southwest Ranch Dressing

Rinse and toss your salad greens.  Cover with black bean salsa and top with chicken and cilantro.  Squeeze lime juice over the top and lightly drizzle with southwest ranch dressing.

Black Bean Salsa

1 can black beans (no salt added), drained

1 can corn (no salt added), drained

1 can diced tomatoes (no salt added), OR 1 can Rotel, if you like a more bold flavor, drained

1/2 tsp. sea salt

1/4 tsp. pepper

Mix all ingredients well.  

Skinny Southwest Ranch Dressing

I adapted this from a recipe I found on Pinterest over at High Heels and Grills.

3/4 c. nonfat plain Greek yogurt
1 T. skim milk
2 T. Rotel
1/2 T. white Vinegar1/8 tsp. dried parsley
1 tsp. El Pato Tomato Sauce, Mexican Hot Style
1/2 tsp. salt
1/8 tsp. paprika1/4 tsp. ground cumin
1/8 tsp. garlic powder
1/8 tsp. ground black pepper
1 T. Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing Mix

Handful fresh chopped cilantro

Put all ingredients into a blender and blend on a medium setting until thoroughly mixed.   

Talluluh is Only Half Crazy

I hope I haven't put all my beloved followers off by all my health and fitness posts lately.  Especially the past week, when I've been so overcome with excitement about my first half-marathon that I have taken over your newsfeed.  Sorry bout it.  But here's the deal:  Right after my wedding day and the birthdays of my children, today was the 4th most significant day in my life.  Today, I completed the Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon's Half-Marathon.  And.it.was.awesome.

If you've been reading all my posts (and you should be), you've heard my story about the high school athlete who didn't know how to train.  I HATED RUNNING.  Hated it.  It bored me to tears.  When Ty and I got married just 5 short years ago, I would literally run about two blocks and call it a day. The really crazy part was I thought I was accomplishing something.  Don't get me wrong, doing something is better than doing nothing.  And those first few steps out the door led me to where I am today, but I was a little ignorant about running.

Now I've been running for almost three years.  It's MY time.  My time to take out all my frustration, stress, and emotion on the pavement.  When I signed up for the half, I was scared.  I had never run further than 5 miles in my entire three years of experience.  But I wanted to challenge myself, and I'm so glad I did.

If you have never run in a marathon event (be it half, full, or 5K), I implore you to at LEAST go and watch.  I was not prepared for the emotion that would consume me today.  Every moment was inspiring.   It was also a blast!  My favorite parts from today:

1.  Singing our National Anthem together before the race began.  Tears in my eyes.  Anticipation building!
2.  Passing the Midwest City Fire Department in their full gear and seeing everyone thank them and shout "God Bless!"
3.  Being passed by a person in a wheelchair (tears again!).
4.  The hundreds of people cheering, waving, and encouraging me! It was really a blessing.  There were people holding signs with funny sayings, wearing costumes, even passing out Jell-O shots and beer! It was like a big party and I was just running through.
5.  Seeing the finish line.  That brought tears to my eyes for a third time.  I couldn't believe I had almost accomplished what I set out to do!
6.  Waving to my hubby, my sis, and my cousin Dakota as I got ready to cross the finish line.  I was so happy to see their faces.

7.  Before we started the race, my goal was to finish in under two hours and thirty minutes.  Finding out I crossed with a time of 2:20 was a great feeling!

Add to all this that we were running to remember those whose lives were lost and those who were changed forever on April 19, 1995, and it truly is an experience that is difficult to put into words.  But I've done my best.  And I hope you know that if I can do it, you can too!  So do something that inspires you.  It all starts with that first step out the door!

Talluluh Cooks Skinny Pancakes

Hi, friends! I know you've been waiting with bated breath for my next blog post.  Here it is!  I've been missing from the blog scene for awhile.  Things have been crazy and hectic and it just hasn't left much time for blogging.  Rest assured that I have been keeping a list of things to blog about, so I'll try to catch up in the next couple of weeks.  First on my list is a recipe I've been dying to share with you.  If you've read some of my previous posts, you know I've been trying to live a "clean" lifestyle.  This basically means eating a balanced diet with no processed foods.  You can read about eating clean here.  I'm not perfect at it, but I am getting there.  And I've found that I'm beginning to "crave" foods that are good for me instead of cupcakes and cheeseburgers.  Go figure.  The recipe I'm sharing today is relatively clean.  The pancakes are WAY healthier than regular pancakes.  I don't eat these every day, because they are higher in calories than my normal egg white and spinach scramble, but I do usually make them on the weekend for a treat.  They are delicious and I hope you will try them!

Talluluh's Skinny Pancakes

Dry Ingredients:

3/4 c. whole wheat flour

1/2 tsp. baking powder

1/2 T stevia sweetener (I use Truvia brand)

1/4 tsp. cinnamon

Wet Ingredients:

3/4 c. OR 4 egg whites

3/4 c. plain nonfat greek yogurt

1/2 tsp. vanilla

Other (optional):

2 T dark chocolate chips

1/4 c. sliced strawberries

1 T pure maple syrup

Combine dry ingredients in a medium sized mixing bowl and make a well in the center. Add wet ingredients and stir until combined.  If you choose, add your chocolate chips.  You could also add pecans!

Cook on a griddle on medium high until lightly browned on both sides. Top with strawberries and pure maple syrup.  ENJOY! 

Makes about 2-3 servings.  Each pancake should use roughly 1/4 c. batter.  

Talluluh Gets Ticked

Okay people, this mommy is ticked.  I've been steaming overnight about this a post from my friend's Facebook page that included this letter:

Every time I read it I just get exponentially madder.  I mean, really?  Social media is a double-edged sword.  But here's the beauty of it:  if you don't like it, hit the delete button.  Hide it from your feed.  Who takes time to type a letter and send it to someone just because they post about their child?  I'll tell you who.  Someone without kids.  Someone filled with bitterness and hate.  Someone who has NOTHING better to do.

Guess what? I love my kids.  More than anything.  Other moms know this.  If you don't have kids, you may not understand why we post pictures of them eating, sleeping, and wearing their underwear on their head and their shoes on their hands.  They are the very best thing we ever created, and we are damn proud.

And my friend who posts about her child?  She is HILARIOUS.  Seriously. Her posts make my day.  I cannot count the number of times I've laughed out loud.  Her blog link is over on your right, so if you don't believe me, check it out for yourself.  The "dopey" child is also my daughter's best friend.  She is a lovable, darling,  adorable, ham.

So if you sent this letter to my friend and I know you, know that I said a prayer for your pitiful soul last night.  If you agree with the notion that parents clog your newsfeed with posts about their children, delete me.  Because I will continue to post the stories, quotes, photos, and sentiments.  I will brag and brag and brag until I am blue in the face.  I grew a human for nine months.  I gave birth to two children.  And I live in America.  So I think that gives me every right and more to post as often as I want.  Plus, my kids are perfect and precious and everyone loves them.  And this little gal is precious and perfect as well.  She deserves to have her picture posted all over the place.  I just can't get enough Lil' Red!

Talluluh's Hero

So, it's been a few days since I've posted, and this one is a little more emotional than my past posts.  But I just watched the Ram Farmer Commerical from the Super Bowl.  I know I'm behind.  But I went to bed at 9:00 p.m. that night because I am old and lame.  And I'm fine with that.  So I watched it tonight and I cried.  Gosh.  That whole commercial took me back years. To farming with my Gramps.  That was one of my favorite past times.  I loved that man.  Idolized that man.  He was my hero.  It's been four years since he died, and I still miss him every day.  So tonight, I'm sharing a few writings that I penned in high school.  Thanks for reading.  Love ya'll.

If we could only watch ourselves while we are here today –

If we could only keep ourselves from wandering astray

If we could only do some good and make folks like us too –

Then maybe there would come a time when we will live anew.

For this is just a sort of test

A proving ground just.

And if we stand the ordeal now –

We’ll be worthy of his trust.

-Loren W. Schneider (Gramps)

Gramps 1 (Read at his funeral in 2008)

My grandfather is not weak. His body has diminished in both stature and posture.  His face is worn and thin, his arms are small and frail.  His legs are swollen from poor circulation, and some days, walking is a challenge.  If you listen to him speak for awhile, it may appear that even his mind is feeble, but he is not weak.  I have seen his strength.  I can see it, even now at the age of ninety-three, when he is sitting in his chair, asleep.  My grandfather has strength of spirit.  This is the same strength that brought him through the death of his father, the Depression, the Second World War.  When he is gone, people may forget his name.  They may forget the kind, small-town man who never knew a stranger.  They may forget the deeds he has done.  But we will not forget.  We cannot forget, because the strength that my grandfather exhibits has been subtly passed to each of us through his stories, his hugs, and his wisdom.

Sometimes, he forgets things, but he never forgets my name, or my voice, or his pride in what his grandchildren have become. More and more lately, he likes to talk of the past.  I love to hear the stories he tells of his childhood, his time in Saipan, the story of how he met my grandmother.  When I was young, I loved to spend time with him on the farm, feeding the cows, hauling hay, tuning up an old tractor.  He always kept toys in the glove box of the old Ford, for his grandchildren, for me.  He exuded strength then, both physical and spiritual.  I knew that to gain the love and respect of this great man meant more than any treasure. 

I have gained from him more than just my name.  I inherited his stubborn will.  That bull-headedness that caused him to keep driving long after the doctors told him he couldn’t.  I inherited his child-like playfulness. This same playfulness made him ages younger than he was, romping around on the floor in a Garfield mask, making us laugh.  I inherited his love of baseball. This same love made him one of Fargo’s great players, and a fan of the Babe.  One day, I hope that people will say that I am strong like him, that my faith is deep like his.  These are the things I hope to acquire, rather than inherit.

My grandfather gives great advice.  He is wise, as old men often are, but there is something more to his wisdom, something hard to explain.  He uses few words, and often speaks in metaphors.  Once, when talking about the children I teach he said, “Here’s something you can tell them when they get ornery, and everyone gets ornery,” he paused, “Tell them, it’s okay to make a mistake, but when you grow up, you have to be man enough to correct it.” These are the words I take to heart.

And someday, my children will ask me about the white-haired man in the pictures from my childhood.  I will smile and say, “That was Gramps.” The rest of the story, I hope they will learn through my life, through the lives of their grandfather (my father), and through their aunt.  This is not a story that can be told, it is a story that has to be lived.

Gramps 2 (written in 2002)

Today after school I crossed the rusty cattle guard to the back pasture, and walked down the worn trail to my Gramps’ old red Ford. He was fixing fence, one that had been there since I can remember.  The posts were made of thick tree branches, worn by wind and rain and sun.  The barb wire was loose and rusty.  He apologized for missing my State Tournament softball games and explained that he had cow trouble on the farm.  Gramps was always one of my biggest fans.  We talked about the weather and Grandma.  She was cross with him for the worn out shirt he keeps around and was wearing.  At this point I looked down at his worn boots that I had seen him remove in his chair in the dining room, at his faded and dirty blue jeans, at his threadbare shirt with a hole in each arm from wrist to elbow.  I saw his leathery skin and light blue eyes, his brown farm hat white hair askew underneath.  We talked about school and the crops.  We talked about softball.  We were discussing the current loss at the State Tournament when he said, “Sometimes, life deals you some beatin’s.  You want to be able to take a beatin’ without being mad.  It builds character.”  This was the kind of advice Gramps always gave, and it always meant so much that he would share his wisdom with me.     

Untitled I

By Loren W. Schneider (Gramps)

Circa 1933

There is a land somewhere in the world I know

That is calling me to its soil.

I know not where it is nor what it is there for,

But it needs my skill and toil.

It may be a land so far away

That I could not reach it if I tried

Until my life was badly worn;

Or it may be the land

On which my soul was born.

Talluluh Throws a Pity Party . . . and Bakes Protein Brownies

So, you've heard my story about gaining fifty pounds when I was pregnant with my daughter.  And you've heard the story about how I lost it all.  It was as easy as that . . . I wish.  It was hard work.  After having Marleigh, I knew right away that I would have to make a big change to lose all the weight.  I found The Eat Clean Diet and began to run.  I liked the Eat Clean principles.  It seemed easy enough:  Stick to lean meats, green veggies, and unprocessed food.  No problem.  EXCEPT.  I like chocolate.  And cheese.  And pizza.  And cookies.  And enchiladas.  But I stuck with it best I could, and it did help me drop the weight.  It changed the way I ate, but not totally. It just made me more conscious about what I was choosing to eat.  So, fast forward a year, and I'm pregnant with Tucker.  This time, I was bound and determined not to gain all that unnecessary weight.  I did it.  I only gained 30 pounds.  Like with Marleigh, I immediately started eating clean after he was born.  I started running after only 4 weeks! (shhhh, don't tell my Dr.).  I made it back to my pre-pregnancy weight in about 2 months.  YAY!  Only, I wasn't exactly crazy about the way my body looked.  Also, I couldn't even look at a cookie without gaining 5 pounds.  This second baby really took a toll on my metabolism.  In fact, I think it vanished the minute he was born.  Poor me. I didn't think I could really make the leap to clean eating.  Then, I stumbled across the Tone It Up girls.  I love them.  I want to be them.  I stalked their twitter and blog for a few months, and then convinced myself I just couldn't live without their nutrition plan any longer.  So I bought it with my birthday money in October.  I read it, got motivated and hit it hard.  For a week.  Yep, a week.  I know. You envy my dedication, right?  Holidays came and went, and I ate, and ate, and ate.  I vowed to start over Jan. 1.  So I did.  And now, a month later, I can honestly say that I'm loving the food I'm eating.  The Tone It Up nutrition plan had such yummy recipes.  I also started working out twice a day.  In the morning I do a 20 minute cardio, and in the evenings I do some type of toning, or I do my training for the half-marathon.  And I've never felt better! I won't lie, it's hard to take the time to plan my meals.  It's hard to get out of bed 30 minutes earlier in the morning.  It's hard to say no to certain comfort foods.  Sometimes I do "cheat," but in moderation.  I found this quote on Pinterest:  "Will power is a muscle.  The more you use it, the stronger it gets."  I just keep telling myself that.  Over and over.  So this weekend I decided to make brownies.  I found a recipe on Pinterest that linked me to Skinny Brownies at Sally's Baking Addiction.  But the recipe wasn't exactly what I was looking for.  So I tweaked it a bit.  And here's what I got:  a healthy brownie! Is it the best tasting brownie I've ever eaten? No.  But it is yummy.  And it makes me feel a whole lot better about eating brownies.  And it curbs my craving for chocolate.  Even the husband approved (those of you who know him know how rare this is)!

Protein Peanut Butter Brownies

6 oz. nonfat plain yogurt
1/4 c. almond milk (I used unsweetened)
1/2 c. water
1 egg white
1/4 tsp. salt
1 tsp. baking powder
1/4 c. stevia
1/2 c. unsweetened cocoa powder
1/2 c. old-fashioned rolled oats
1 scoop organic brown rice protein powder, to texture (I used Perfect Fit)
3/4 c. natural peanut butter

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Spray an 8x8 pan with non-stick olive oil cooking spray.  Set aside.
Grind oats into a fine oat flour using a blender and set aside.  Mix yogurt, almond milk, water, and egg white in a medium mixing bowl.  Add dry ingredients and combine.

Pour batter into prepared baking dish.  Microwave peanut butter for 30 seconds and drop by spoonful onto the brownie batter.  Use a knife to swirl gently and create a marble look.

Bake 20-25 minutes.  Cool completely before cutting.  Brownies will have a fudge-like texture.

Run, Talluluh, Run!

I feel like I should preface this post by saying that I used to HATE running.  When I was in high school, I was a basketball and softball player.  I never had to think about exercise, because my beloved coach worked our hineys off.  In college, I decided I would try to be active, but treadmills bored me to death.  I tried running again after Ty and I got married.  I probably ran about a half a mile.  Maybe.  Then I went home and ate a cake.  When I was pregnant with Marleigh, I gained 50 pounds.  FIFTY.  That's a lot.  So I knew I had to do something.  After she was born, I did the Ease into 5K program and lost all the baby weight.  I was finally a runner.  But not an avid runner.  Just a when-the-weather-is-nice or when-my-pants-start-getting-tight runner.  I started to like running, because it was time away from spit-up and dirty diapers and messes that awaited me at home.  I liked that I could justify eating the whole pan of brownies.  Because running three miles totally negates a pan of brownies.  You can quote me on that . . . or maybe not.   I also liked that I could take my stress out on the road.  After Tucker was born, same thing.  Ease into 5K.  But this time, I stuck with running.  And I have grown to LOVE it.  In December, I bit the bullet and registered for a half-marathon.  That's 13.1 miles.  I am terrified, but also so excited!  I have several friends doing the OKC Memorial Half Marathon with me.  I also registered for the Color Me Rad 5K two weeks after the half.  I now own running pants and a Garmin running watch.  I still feel uncomfortable calling myself a runner, but I guess I am.  I'm sure this post has a point.  I just don't know what it is.  I guess I just wanted to brag a little so I can feel accomplished.  Or to inspire you to get out there and move.  The picture at the beginning of this post was exactly how I felt three years ago.  And today, I ran 5 miles! If I can do it, you can too.  Look for an update following the half-marathon.  I'm sure I'll still love running, right? Right?

Talluluh who?

Hey ya'll.  Thanks for stopping by to read.  I've officially joined the blogger bandwagon.  Because my plate wasn't full enough (hahahaha!), I thought I'd start another project.  Somewhere where I can post the funny things my kids do and say, the trials and triumphs I face as I start a "clean" and fit lifestyle (more on this later), show love for my favorite products, share recipes and photos, and a little of everything in between.  I know most of you probably know me.  I highly doubt that I'm already famous and drawing the attention of readers around the world, so I'll spare you the "About Me" post.  However, you may be wondering, who is Talluluh?   Well, if you've known me my whole life, you know the answer.  So you can stop reading.  But for the rest of you, here it is.  Talluluh Laverne is my alias.  My mother thinks everyone needs an alias.  And you just don't argue with your mother.  Sometime in my teenage years, my mom disclosed that she wished she would have named me Talluluh instead of Lauren.  This name came from a story from this book:

The girl in the story was named Talluluh, and she spent her days hiding in a chinaberry tree reading books and spying on people passing by.  My mom always loved that story, and read it to me many times.  So, I adopted the name Talluluh as my alias.  It's been my nickname for years.  I had it printed on the back of my warm-up jersey in basketball, on my class ring, and it is my name on Twitter, Instagram, and anywhere else I can plaster it.  Talluluh is who I am at my core, my best self.  I know you will sleep better tonight knowing this.  Stay tuned for more riveting posts.  

Signed,

Talluluh